We have a very real, and very serious problem to address in our Universe. Tensions have arisen between Dwight Schrute and Darth Vader as to whom should be the supreme Number Two, in their minds there can only be ONE Number Two! They have agreed that the voice of the people should be heard (maybe not heeded, but at least heard). I would like to present our two candidates, and enumerate just a few of the strengths and a distinct weakness of each. I will then give all of you exactly ONE WEEK to put in your thoughts and cast a vote in this historic election. Choose wisely.
- Purple belt in karate. (Granted, opponents are in elementary school).
- Proficient in Mace deployment.
- Paintball gun skills that are worthy of at least $500 for lessons.
- Wrestling experience with his cousin Mose.
- Possesses a variety of weapons, including Bow Staff, Taser, Brass knuckles, and even nunchaku.
- Power of persuasion through use of supreme intellect, rapid-fire fact reciting, cunning, and even intimidation.
- Strong Sexual attraction by members....member of the opposite sex.
- Business owner, has found opportunity to open "Rustic" bed and breakfast at Dwight Farms.
- Attacks have NO EFFECT on Jim.
- Can sense the presence and approach of enemy.
- Has the ability to move items, open doors, and even cut off air supply of disrespectful subordinates (Jim would NEVER put Vader's stapler in Jello).
- Skills with Light Saber are matched by the number of individuals with....I mean counted... on one hand!
- Follows orders so thoroughly, loyalty could not possibly be questioned.
- Survivability...Lord Vader is the LAST of his kind.
- Has a cool Egg shaped personal chamber...or charging station if you will.
- Can make funny faces during tense conflict negotiations...and none would be the wiser!
- He wears a cape. Everyone knows that is the downfall of EVERY super hero...or villain.
Remember to take your time in this decision, use both the facts listed here in conjunction with your personal knowledge of each candidate.
As a reward for your participation, each vote caster will be entered into a drawing...prize yet to be disclosed.