I'm sitting down to blog just because. I don't have anything I've been thinking about writing so this post may be especially boring and of the rambling type. For some reason lately I hate to shower. Part of it is my detest for mornings, which is most often the best time to shower. Once the kids are up it just seems I don't make time for myself throughout the day {unless it's to sleep. I've got my priorities!} Maybe it's due in part to the pregnancy. It could also be due to my constant struggle with depression. My entire family has suffered with depression at some point and my father committed suicide after struggling with bipolar disorder, among other things, for many years. The frustrating thing for me is that I KNOW what to do to control my depression, or at least alleviate it, yet I don't do it. I had a therapist last year tell me there is a prescription for depression that has no side effects and costs next to nothing. You do five things EVERY day, whether you feel like it or not:
- Exercise {boo!}
- Express your feelings 100% of the time - don't hold anything in
- Service
- Remain social
- Look forward to something every day
It seems simple, right? Wrong. Once the depression has set it, it seems impossible to do even one thing on this list sometimes. I know the two I struggle with the most and slowly I've begun to struggle with the rest. I find myself sleeping days away without actually having done anything productive, including taking a shower.
I do not post these things to cry for help. As I said, I know how to handle my depression and I have an amazing support system to help me through whatever struggles come my way, especially the best friend and support I could ever have: the love of my life. I simply want to put this out there for anyone else who struggles with mental illness and because of shame, embarrassment or fear does not talk about it. I'm talking about it. I'm not less of a person because I struggle with depression. I can be honest with myself and honest with those around me that I have faults and trials that oftentimes seem out of my ability to handle. However, I WILL overcome this specific challenge and triumphant, will offer help to anyone I know who stands in need.
Thanks for the ear...or eye, as the case may be. I told you it would be a rambly post. :O)